You Heard It Here First (Hot Off The Presses)

So here it is: I’m going to write a book, see?

It’ll be about this guy who has this online “journal” that he fails to update for a while… for a LONG while.

Isn’t that an awesome concept? Aren’t you jealous that you didn’t think of it first?

I think I have the basic concept mapped out, but I’ll throw in a few elements to make SURE it sells:

1. First, the guy posts some stupid stuff.
2. Then, I’ll insert something about a club of traveling pants.
3. Then, he’ll post some more stupid stuff.
4. Next, he’ll figure out the hidden mysteries of a major religion using some kind of code.
5. Some more stupid posts.
6. What follows here will probably mention Oprah and Dr. Phil.
7. A REALLY stupid post, where he tries to be funny about all the time he HASN’T posted.
8. Something about girls kissing, or boys, or whatever is more “in vogue” at the moment
(I’ll leave this up to the editor).
9. A recipe for my mom’s famous “Dutch Apple Wonder Cake.”

After I make all this stuff up, I’ll send it out as nonfiction. Woohoo! I’m off to look into purchasing a lime-green Mercedes!